5 years ago I was packing my bags to head to the hospital the next day. It was both terrifying and a relief at the same time. It might have helped if I packed the bags sooner, but I don’t usually plan that far ahead. It was the last night I had the option of sleeping through the night. It was also the last night in nearly 4 months I got up several times to use the bathroom. The next morning, I got up around 6am and had a bowl of Fruity Pebbles (don’t ask why I remember that, I just do), before loading up in the car to head to the hospital.
The next 12 hours were torture.
Okay, maybe not torture, but they were certainly uncomfortable. The IV start, (I can’t stand needles), the lack of eating, being forced to watch the history of guns and war, (So, maybe that wasn’t too bad), and all of the people who were constantly coming in and out. Oh, and all the machines that kept alarming every 5 min or so.
Then around 5:30 that night, something amazing happened! My beautiful little boy entered the world! All the irritants of the day were erased, and the only thing I could think of was, “How in the world am I going to take care of this thing?” He was so tiny and fragile, and he was totally and completely dependant on me and my husband to provide his needs for him. I wasn’t sure that I was ready to handle such an incredible responsibility. I was barely out of childhood myself, how could I give 24/7/365 care to this creature?
I don’t think I slept that first night, I spent most of it just looking at the amazing being that was my son. That, and the fact the nurses had to check on one of us every 10 min or so. (okay, maybe it was only every 2 hours, but it seemed like a lot!). By the next morning, I was throughly exhausted, but I had peace about bringing Elvis home.
Then 2 days later, we actually did bring him home. I have no idea how we made it through that first year. (I went back to school full-time 7 weeks later, and then to work part-time 4 months later) It took the support of our amazing families and friends, and whole lot of prayer. I truly don’t remember the first semester of school (only the stuff that I used everyday), and the second is still fuzzy. I must have retained it somehow, because I’m still employed in the field I went to school for. Most of the time, I was just trying to make through the next few minutes.
Looking back on that year, I am truly amazed at how much grace and patience God gave me to deal with the new responsibilities He gave me. If it wasn’t for God, we as a family wouldn’t be where we are now. We certainly didn’t have the ideal start to our family, but over the last 5 years He has blessed us. It hasn’t always been a bed of roses, but we have never been without what we needed. What we wanted yes, but never what we needed. And God is continuing to bless us. He provided a job that allows my husband to be home more, and bring in enough money to pay the bills plus get the extra things that we’ve been holding off on. Like the couch I bought earlier this week, and the new washer and dryer we get to pick up this weekend.
I know that over the next 5 years we’ll still have our struggles, but I also know that as long as we keep God first, He will help us through the hard times, and bless us with the good.
I am so thankful to have been given the wonderful gift of my son 5 years ago. I am anticipating a (mostly) great 5 years to come.