So I did it again….I waited over a month to post a new post. But this time I had REALLY good excuse…sorta. I had to wait until my news became known to those who needed to know it before I blogged about it. (Go ahead, read again… it really does make sense!) So here’s my news: I’m going to be a stay-at-home mommy!
Now to those that have known me for a long time, you may be thinking “What?? Really?? You said you would never do that!” And up until about 6 months to a year ago, I wouldn’t have thought I would do it either. Because, while I enjoy being a mom, I am fiercely independent and need to have something besides motherhood to challenge me. Or so I thought. However, there have been multiple changes in our lives, especially over the last year, that have changed the way I view and define myself. So here’s a little background to why I made my decision:
Last fall while we were searching for a new church, I spent a ton of time praying and thinking and researching what I (and our family) wanted in a church. During that time God revealed over and over (and still is) that it’s not about me, it’s about Him. It’s about what His plan is for my life, not mine. I know, it’s a simple statement. But it’s one that is sooo hard to wrap ones head around. During this time, there were things at work that were cropping up that I was dissatisfied with. Nothing serious, just things that annoyed me. A lot.
Fast forward a couple months. Jon came down with a mysterious illness that kept him without the energy to do anything, in and out of the doctor’s office for 2 months straight, and a lot of missed work. Turns out he has hypothyroidism, which means his thyroid isn’t producing enough of the hormones he needs. Luckily it’s a simple fix, just daily medication for the rest of his life and yearly blood draws. Again, I spent a ton of time in prayer. Mostly just asking to know what was wrong. That was the worst part, the not knowing, the lab work coming back time after time without answers. And again, I was reminded that it wasn’t about me, it was about God. And this time He added patience. (I’m not a naturally patient person, so this was REALLY hard)
That brings us to this past May. Some of the things that annoyed me in the fall at work, had become much bigger. A few things happened in my workplace that discouraged me. (I won’t go into details, because I respect enough of my coworkers to leave it publicly unsaid) After a lot of discussing (with both my husband and God), we made the decision for me to turn in my notice to work.
It’s one of the biggest leaps of faith I’ve ever taken. Staying home with my kids, is not something that I ever dreamed would happen. And if I’m honest with myself, not a decision I would ever voluntarily make on my own. For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt that I needed something to cling to that defined me besides being a mother. Something that I could say to people, “I do ______” whatever that blank may be. And to quit my job that I’ve been at and succeeded at for 5 years is removing that something. And it’s kinda scary.
But the peace I feel, and the excitement that’s building, is so amazing. I’ve grown so much in the past year, both emotionally and spiritually. I’m excited for what God has planned in our lives. I’m excited that we are a part of church that is passionate about serving God with everything they have. I’m excited to be home with my kids, to teach and show and be an example of who and what God is.
And for those that are wondering if I left something out, I saved it for last. I will still be running my Premier Designs business. If it weren’t for Rachel taking the time to talk about the blessings of Premier, and then not giving up on me, none of this would be possible. Because I am still a fiercely independent women, and I still need to do something outside the house. Premier will more than fill that need and the opportunities it can provide (and has already provided!) are more than I could ever ask for.
It was the most unexpected blessing. And I am so excited!!